I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
