I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
