the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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