I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
