So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
