no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
