Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
