fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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