Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I supernannyed him into submission
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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