you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
