And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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