Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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