I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
birth control should be required to get into college
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
