the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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