He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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