Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
