even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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