your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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