i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
