its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
