just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
