i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The air was thick with penises
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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