But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
