just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Found the puke drawer
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
