ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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