Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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