NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
