You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
