I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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