Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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