:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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