In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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