dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
