I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
