He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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