the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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