the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
