my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
