there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
