i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
