you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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