Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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