He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
