its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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