Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
