Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
