No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
