Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
