I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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