i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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