Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
